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Please click here Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here * Welcome Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * Special Feature * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Warwick We have just celebrated Easter. Our children think that Easter is all about chocolate eggs and rabbits but, of course, it is really about something far deeper and stronger. Good Friday is called 'good' because it celebrates the death of Jesus Christ on a cruel cross and Easter Sunday is a celebration of his resurrection. Many people think of Jesus as effeminate, or as Larry Norman said, 'a guy who has recently had his nails done!' Nothing could be further from the truth. Jesus was a man's man. Edwin Louis Cole said that 'manhood and Christlikeness are synonymous'. John Eldridge, author of 'Wild at Heart' www.ransomedheart.com a best seller all around the world, articulates the cry coming from a man's heart for spiritual reality. I'll let John Eldridge tell you in his own words: Eve was created within the lush beauty of Eden's garden. But Adam, if you'll remember, was created outside the Garden, in the wilderness. In the record of our beginnings, the second chapter of Genesis makes it clear: Man was born in the outback, from the untamed part of creation. Only afterward is he brought to Eden. And ever since then boys have never been at home indoors, and men have had an insatiable longing to explore. We long to return; it's when most men come alive. As John Muir said, when a man comes to the mountains, he comes home. The core of a man's heart is undomesticated and that is good. "I am not alive in an office," as one Northface ad has it. "I am not alive in a taxi cab. I am not alive on a sidewalk." Amen to that. Their conclusion? "Never stop exploring.". . . And so my boys and I stood on the bank of the Snake River in the spring of '98, feeling that ancient urge to shove off. Snow melt was high that year, unusually high, and the river had overflowed its banks and was surging through the trees on both sides. Out in the middle of the river, which is crystal clear in late summer but that day looked like chocolate milk, logs were floating down, large tangles of branches bigger than a car, and who knows what else. High and muddy and fast, the Snake was forbidding. No other rafters could be seen. Did I mention it was raining? But we had a brand-new canoe and the paddles were in hand and, sure, I have never floated the Snake in a canoe, not any other river for that matter, but what the heck, We jumped in and head off into the unknown, like Livingstone plunging into the interior of dark Africa. Adventure, with all its requisite danger and wildness, is a deeply spiritual longing written into the soul of man, The masculine heart needs a place where nothing is prefabricated, modular, non-fat, zip unlock, franchised, on-line, microwavable. Where there are no deadlines, cell phones, or committee meetings. Where there is room for the soul. Where, finally, the geography around us corresponds to the geography of our heart. Look at the heroes of the biblical text: Moses does not encounter the living God at the mall. He finds him (or is found by him) somewhere out in the deserts of Sinai, a long way from the comforts of Egypt. The same is true of Jacob, who has his wrestling match with God, not on the living room sofa, but in a wadi somewhere east of the Jabbok, in Mesopotamia. Where did the great prophet Elijah go to recover his strength? To the wild. As did John the Baptist, and his cousin, Jesus, who is led by the spirit into the wilderness. Whatever else those explorers were after, they were also searching for themselves. Deep in a man' heart are some fundamental questions that simply cannot be answered at the kitchen table. Who am I? What am I made of? What am I destined for? It is fear that keeps a man at home where things are neat and orderly and under his control. But the answers to his deepest questions are not to be found on television or in the refrigerator. Out there on the burning desert sands, lost in a trackless waste, Moses received his life's mission and purpose. He is called out, called up into something much bigger than he ever imagined, much more serious that CEO or 'prince of Egypt.' Under foreign stars, in the dead of night, Jacob received a new name, his real name. No longer is he a shrewd business negotiator, but now he is one who wrestles with God. The wilderness trial of Christ is, at its core, a test of his identity. 'If you are who you think you are . . .' If a man is ever to find out who he is and what he's here for, he has got to take that journey for himself. He has got to get his heart back. Lovework Tell your children the real story of Easter. Explain to them that only a real man could say, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do!" with nails driven though both hands and both feet. Yours for getting our hearts back Warwick Marsh ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives. Albert Schweitzer back to top Laughter Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What'cha doing, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, "That's because he's inside your dumb cat." back to top Single Dads No More Vanilla Visitation By Beth Neuman Let's face it. Many divorced dads don't get the luxury of living with their children or even seeing them every week. That's why it's so important to enjoy the time that you do get to spend with them and plan activities that will strengthen your relationship. Whether you've got your kids for a weekend or a week, there are a wide variety of activities single dads can do with their kids, no matter what their interests and ages are. Young Children: - Children's Museum - These museums offer a safe and fun learning environment. There's sure to be plenty of educational activities to keep them entertained for hours. - Petting Zoo - Young children are fascinated by animals. Interacting with animals can open up the lines of communication - even with your youngest tot. Just make sure to keep an eye on where they (and you) are stepping. - Pet Store - You don't have to get a new pet to enjoy a pet store. Take time to look at all of the different animals. If you're feeling like super-dad, you can even buy them a pet. It might be wise to stick with a small hassle-free pet, such as a fish or turtle, or risk incurring the wrath of your ex-wife. - Park / Picnic - Venture out to a new park, pack a picnic lunch, and don't forget the juice boxes, snacks, and plenty of napkins. - Concerts/Theatrical Event - If you're brave enough to handle an arena of screaming tikes, why not take them to a concert or play. Check your local community centers or online for information. Older Children: - Board Game Night - Remember when you used to stay up all night wired on coke playing Battleship, Operation, and Monopoly? Relive those days with your own children. Order a pizza, get a couple two-litre bottles of soda and let the games begin! - Video Games - Teach the young ones a few new tricks. Warning: modern video game controllers are much more complicated than the two-button joysticks of the Atari-era. - Shopping - Although this might make some kids (and dads) cringe, others love to get out and look around in stores, etc. Be sure to talk to you kids and be firm about spending limits. You will survive. - Bike Ride - Why not take a nice bike ride to your local ice cream or local store? You probably could use the exercise anyway. Just be sure that the kids can handle their bike before you're a mile away from home. - Pool - Pool - Cool off and take a break by relaxing in the water. Pools are inexpensive and can keep your kids entertained for hours! Teenagers: - Theme Park - Theme parks are all over the country. Just make sure you pick a good day - rain can put a damper on things, but nothing is worse than being stuck for two hours sweltering in a long line. - Camping - Map out a camping destination and head for the great outdoors. This is a perfect activity for older children and teens. All you'll need is a tent, a cooler full of food, a first aid kit and an industrial-size can of bug spray. And yes, toasted marshmallows are as good as you remember. - Museums - Many people that actually live near or in a city don't take the time to see the tourist attractions and museums that big cities have to offer. Note: make sure this is something that interests your children otherwise you're bound to hear a lot of sighs and see a lot of eye-rolling. - Sporting Events - Don't mess with success. For generations dads have been taking their children to the football or cricket to bond with them. Eat hot dogs and cheer for the home-team and impress your teen with your sports knowledge. - Concerts - Ask your kids about their favorite bands and find out when the next one will be in town for a concert. You might be surprised to find you've actually heard of them. Regardless, they'll always remember singing along with their favorite band with their dad. The most important thing to remember is that it's not really what you do, but how you do it. No matter how you spend your time, make sure you really reach out to your child and try to communicate with them. Spending quality-time with your child is essential to maintaining a great father-child relationship after a divorce. They need to know that you are there for them and want to spend time with them. Reprinted from: http://www.levingsdivorcemagazine.com/vanilla_visitation.html back to top All you need is Love How to Say "I Love You" Everyday By Michael Kiely Love is not something you feel. It's something you do, according to someone called David Wilkerson, and I agree with him. You "do" love when you put yourself out for the loved one. Sacrifice your time for them. You also 'do' love by little signals... Continuing my list of tactics for a total love attack: ' VOICE MAIL MESSAGES ' I impersonate imaginary lovers calling my wife and conspiring to meet her behind my back. I put on accents and make impassioned pleas for her favours. It's fun. ' YELLOW STICKY PADS ' When I am going away for a few days on business, I sometimes go through the house with a little pad of sticky yellow notepaper and a black texta pen and leave variations on the theme 'I Love You' in places she'll find as the days wear on. In the freezer, under her pillow, on the bathroom mirror, in among her underwear, in her handbag, above the door so she won't see it until she turns to leave the room, high up on the wall in a place I risk breaking my neck to reach. (Girls scream disapproval while you're taking risks, but love it when the feat is complete.) I put one in the oven that she didn't find until it nearly burst into flames when she turned it on without checking. Filled the kitchen with smoke. Laugh! Well, eventually she did. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Congratulations go to Michael Kiely. Australia's biggest independent book distributor has agreed to handle 'Man Overboard'. Thanks to Warwick Marsh at the Fatherhood Foundation who gave me the contact at Woods Lane Distributors. We have been sent a contract and we are ready to press the button and hope that the good Lord knows where the $10,000 we need to print and promote the book will come from, because I have no idea. Contact Michael at: michael@newhorizon.au.com For more ideas and to read more of Michael's journey go to http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com back to top Thought of the Week To give a man back his heart is the hardest mission on earth. from the movie 'Michael' back to top Special Feature Job Description - Parent POSITION : Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Father Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma, Mother JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES : The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product! Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION : None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you! PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION : Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS : While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right. Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated back to top News & Info Integrity Alliance congratulates Senator Guy Barnett on ISP Filtering Integrity Alliance endorses and congratulates the initiative, by Senator Guy Barnett, to have trialled in Tasmania new technology for filtering out pornography and extreme violence at the Internet Service Provider (ISP) level. This is an initiative welcomed by the private and public sectors of the community, who have been calling for action by the government for sometime. Ross Wilson from Integrity Alliance stated, 'that parents are concerned about their children being exposed to unsolicited pornographic imagery on the internet. Surveys conducted in Australia in 2003 show that 84 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls have been accidentally exposed to pornographic material while using the internet for legitimate purposes.' Research has also shown that 70% of hits on internet sex sites occur between 9-5 on business computers. This equates to lost time and dollars being incurred by employers and ultimately by the community. 'There is no upside to internet pornography. There is no good porn or degrees of acceptable porn. Pornography comes at a cost, a cost that is primarily borne by our children, families and community,' said Mr. Wilson We look forward to the results of this trial and call upon the government to quickly legislate for mandatory filtering of pornography at the ISP level. We also ask the public to contact their Members of Parliament, urging them to act and address this current censorship anomaly. For further media information please contact: Ross Wilson 07-3808 9448 / 0411-153 617; Mary-Louise Fowler 02-6383 4242; John Grant 0411-869 027. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * HELP NEEDED FROM MEN FOR A VERY IMPORTANT STUDY Finally after all these years of pushing, Griffith University is conducting a study into Marital and De Facto Separation on Men, especially suicide An increasing number of people are experiencing separation and divorce in our community. Relationship breakdown, in the form of separation or divorce, often brings stressful times in the lives of those involved. The separation from a loved one can turn a person's world upside down, and in the peak of distress can even lead someone to question the worth of their own life. We need your assistance and participation in this study to provide help to those experiencing difficulties with relationship breakdown and separation. The study, run by AISRAP, Griffith University, will investigate the process of separation and identify key critical moments. Having a deep knowledge of the most upsetting circumstances associated with the splitting of a couple will help reduce stress and suicidal behaviour too frequently experienced by males during the separation process. This will be accomplished through identifying the critical times where males are most at risk of feeling overwhelmed by the situation they are experiencing, and providing them with the most appropriate referral pathways. The results from this study will benefit the community through providing valuable information in the support of individuals experiencing marital or de facto relationship breakdown, separation, and divorce. The study results might influence policy makers, and provide modification of existing procedures. I have a number of Participant packs here. Please send me your details via email if you would like to participate and a postal address so as I can arrange the packs to be posted. Guys it is most important to get behind this. If we wish to effect change this is one of the major steps. Confidentiality is assured. Tony Miller dids dids@nor.com.au www.dadsindistress.asn.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * DADS IN DISTRESS IS COMING TO PERTH I want to tell you how fortunate we are to have Tony Miller, founder of Dads In Distress (DIDs) coming to visit Western Australia in April in a few weeks time. And ALL are welcome to join with Tony in the week commencing Monday 24th April. Tony Miller is a living legend and a man whose tireless work has saved many dads from despair after family breakdown and divorce. He is a leader of men, a man with an enormous heart and compassion for young men who face the most agonising grief and hurt and loss because of divorce, family law and the loss of their children. As we all know, the loss of our dear children is enough to rip a hole in any father's heart. Tony Miller is a witty and jovial character - he's a good bloke! He's also serious about his work and expanding the DIDs groups to reach more and more men. You are all invited to join Tony in information nights and in holding real DIDs group sessions. The personal growth that happens in those special moments between men are extraordinary and have resulted in ever more DIDs groups being set up around Australia. Dates: (Information Nights) Perth - Monday 24th April Perth - Tuesday 25th April Bunbury - Wednesday 26th April Bunbury & Surrounding Districts - Thursday 27th April Perth/other areas - Friday 28th April Some participants will want to take Tony's lead and set up and run DIDs groups. You will have Tony's personal support to do this. Others will feel a need to participate and join a DIDs group and that's great; that's what DIDs was created for, to support men, strengthen them and open the door to their futures as men with dignity and fathers to their children. If you want to be part of this opportunity to experience DIDs then please RSVP as soon as possible by contacting me on my mobile 0409 917 345 or email to director@spca.org.au Exact times and venues will be advised but we need to know approximate numbers in order to plan the DIDs sessions with Tony and the information nights. This unique opportunity to meet Tony Miller and experience DIDs is about to happen, in this month, April 2006. By indicating your interest and contacting me as soon as possible, your place will be secured. Mon 24th April and Tue 25th April are the key dates for Perth. Please also pass this message on to anyone you think might want to attend, anyone you think would benefit and especially the Dads in distress. Yours Sincerely, Edward Dabrowski Federal Director Shared Parenting Council of Australia m. 0409 917 345 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Counselling and Ministering to Men Date: Sat 20 May 2006 Place: A Block, Christian Heritage College, 322 Wecker Rd, Mansfield Counselling and Ministering to Men is a one day conference featuring experienced and qualified speakers who have years of counselling and ministry experience in working with men and boys of all ages. It is designed not only to shed light on the difficulties and struggles many men face today, but also to offer practical and biblically based solutions to these problems. It can be tough being a Christian man in today's world. Many of us struggle to understand what mature masculinity looks like, especially in the absence of role models that can be trusted to light the way for us. Statistics, which include rates of male suicide, pornography addiction, absentee fathers, antisocial behaviour and falling school performances amongst adolescent boys, and low church involvement amongst men, all seem to indicate that many males are doing it tough. Anyone who is concerned for men and boys today - including pastors, counsellors, those in lay ministry, as well as Christian men themselves and those who love them - will leave this conference better equipped to help men grow to be all they are meant to be in Christ. Key Speakers Peter Janetzki Counsellor; educator; radio talk show host of 96.5's 'Talking Life'; Masters in Social Science, (QUT). Wild at Heart - The Essence of Real Masculinity Phil Henry Counsellor in private practice; Men's Group Leader; Masters in Counselling, (QUT). Important Principles & Practices in Working with Men Workshop Speakers Alan MacKenzie Counsellor; group leader, Ministry to Men Matt Boulton Pastor of Brisbane City Church Dr John Meteyard Counsellor; Lecturer at Christian Heritage College * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Wrong Direction on Family Law Reform As part of a major overhaul of the Family Law Act, the Australian Government plans to spend $200 million establishing a network of 'Family Relationship Centres'. But despite good intentions, Family Relationship Centres will add little to the divorce process in Australia. In a paper to be released on Wednesday 12 April, Family Relationship Centres: Why We Don't Need Them, Arti Sharma argues that although it is a good idea to make divorce less adversarial, Family Relationship Centres won't work, aren't needed by 95 per cent of separating couples, and are a waste of taxpayers' money. 'The proposal to establish Family Relationship Centres should be scrapped. They are being established so that the Government is seen to be doing something about the divorce process, but in reality, these centres will do nothing at all to improve the system.' Under the proposed reforms, separating couples with children are forced into compulsory dispute resolution and made to submit parenting plans for approval before moving to divorce proceedings, regardless of their personal circumstances. 'While the proposal requiring a parenting plan before couples proceed to court is sound, how parents develop these plans should be left to them. Only after couples have tried to resolve parenting issues and failed is there any need for compulsory dispute resolution.' 'By making dispute resolution compulsory for divorcing couples who do not need help, the Government is reaching new levels of paternalistic intervention.' Family Relationship Centres needlessly duplicate the voluntary and publicly-funded community sector relationship services. 'The danger is that this will end up destroying the community sector's independence, wasting taxpayers' money and hindering rather than helping couples who need assistance with the divorce process.' 'Family Relationship Centres represent the incorporation of private, voluntary and community services into intrusive bureaucracy. They will be costly to run, and if they fail, it will be a costly failure.' Overwhelmingly, separating parents resolve custody issues independently. 'Only a very small proportion of divorce cases find themselves having to go to court to resolve conflict over children. The Government's response seems disproportionately large compared to the problem.' 'Family Relationship Centres are an example of symbolic politics; in reality they will be no improvement at all.' Arti Sharma is a Researcher at The Centre for Independent Studies. She is available for comment. READ IT ONLINE HERE: http://www.cis.org.au/IssueAnalysis/ia70/ia70.pdf All media enquiries: Gina Schwass, Public Affairs Officer Ph: 02 9438 4377 Mob: 0407 211 562 Email: gschwass@cis.org.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation & the Dads of Australia Like everybody this is Easter, I'm going to be thinking about my family over this holiday. But I'm one of the lucky ones... my baby daughter is going to be with me for half of Easter. Many of us are not so lucky. Holidays are a time for family, and if you have been excluded from your family it can be a very hard. Please (please) don't let it get to you this Easter. Don't give up hope. Don't become another statistic. You may be alone now, but your child/ren need you. Even if your kids don't know it now, suffering as victims of PAS and malicious mothers, never-the-less, when they are older, they will want to know you and they will want to know the truth. If you are struggling this Easter, don't do it alone. Ring Men's Line, on 1300 78 99 78, and take advantage of one of the first groups to get some funding for men (but still mostly staffed by volunteers) :-) Or ring me . . . James Adams (PartTimeParent) on 0417 258 364 You're not Jesus... Don't die for the sins of others ;-) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation In Marriage Passion & pleasure brings you together, But Love & loyalty binds you forever. Peter Rahme * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God If I give you my heart, Will you give it back to me? If I give you my dreams, Will you help me live them? If I make a mistake, Will you pick me up again? So that I can aim for what I cannot do And reach for the stars inside my heart, Which you put there in the first place. back to top About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! Mission Statement The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_16408_01C66137.ECE34250 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here


Welcome Warwick

We have just celebrated Easter.  Our children think that Easter is all about chocolate eggs and rabbits but, of course, it is really about something far deeper and stronger.  Good Friday is called 'good' because it celebrates the death of Jesus Christ on a cruel cross and Easter Sunday is a celebration of his resurrection.  Many people think of Jesus as effeminate, or as Larry Norman said, 'a guy who has recently had his nails done!'

 

Nothing could be further from the truth.  Jesus was a man's man.  Edwin Louis Cole said that 'manhood and Christlikeness are synonymous'.  John Eldridge, author of 'Wild at Heart' www.ransomedheart.com  a best seller all around the world, articulates the cry coming from a man's heart for spiritual reality.  I'll let John Eldridge tell you in his own words:

 

Eve was created within the lush beauty of Eden's garden.  But Adam, if you'll remember, was created outside the Garden, in the wilderness.  In the record of our beginnings, the second chapter of Genesis makes it clear: Man was born in the outback, from the untamed part of creation.  Only afterward is he brought to Eden.  And ever since then boys have never been at h ome indoors, and men have had an insatiable longing to explore.  We long to return; it's when most men come alive.  As John Muir said, when a man comes to the mountains, he comes home.  The core of a man's heart is undomesticated and that is good.  "I am not alive in an office," as one Northface ad has it. "I am not alive in a taxi cab.  I am not alive on a sidewalk."  Amen to that.  Their conclusion? "Never stop exploring.". . .

 

And so my boys and I stood on the bank of the Snake River in the spring of '98, feeling that ancient urge to shove off.  Snow melt was high that year, unusually high, and the river had overflowed its banks and was surging through the trees on both sides.  Out in the middle of the river, which is crystal clear in late summer but that day looked like chocolate milk, logs were floating down, large tangles of branches bigger than a car, and who knows what else.  High and muddy and fast, the Snake was forbidding.  No other rafters could be seen.  Did I mention it was raining? But we had a brand-new canoe and the paddles were in hand and, sure, I have never floated the Snake in a canoe, not any other river for that matter, but what the heck,  We jumped in and head off into the unknown, like Livingstone plunging into the interior of dark Africa.

 

Adventure, with all its requisite danger and wildness, is a deeply spiritual longing written into the soul of man,  The masculine heart needs a place where nothing is prefabricated, modular, non-fat, zip unlock, franchised, on-line, microwavable.  Where there are no deadlines, cell phones, or committee meetings.  Where there is room for the soul.  Where, finally, the geography around us corresponds to the geography of our heart.  Look at the heroes of the biblical text: Moses does not encounter the living God at the mall.  He finds him (or is found by him) somewhere out in the deserts of Sinai, a long way from the comfor ts of Egypt.  The same is true of Jacob, who has his wrestling match with God, not on the living room sofa, but in a wadi somewhere east of the Jabbok, in Mesopotamia.  Where did the great prophet Elijah go to recover his strength? To the wild.  As did John the Baptist, and his cousin, Jesus, who is led by the spirit into the wilderness.

 

Whatever else those explorers were after, they were also searching for themselves.  Deep in a man' heart are some fundamental questions that simply cannot be answered at the kitchen table.  Who am I?  What am I made of?  What am I destined for?  It is fear that keeps a man at home where things are neat and orderly and under his control.  But the answers to his deepest questions are not to be found on television or in the refrigerator.  Out there on the burning desert sands, lost in a trackless waste, Moses received his life's mission and purpose.   He is called out, called up into something much bigger than he ever imagined, much more serious that CEO or 'prince of Egypt.'  Under foreign stars, in the dead of night, Jacob received a new name, his real name.  No longer is he a shrewd business negotiator, but now he is one who wrestles with God.  The wilderness trial of Christ is, at its core, a test of his identity.  'If you are who you think you are . . .'  If a man is ever to find out who he is and what he's here for, he has got to take that journey for himself.

 

He has got to get his heart back.

 

Lovework

 

Tell your children the real story of Easter.  Explain to them that only a real man could say, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do!" with nails driven though both hands and both feet.

 

Yours for getting our hearts back

Warwick Marsh

________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 

The tragedy of life

is what dies inside a man

while he lives.

 

Albert Schweitzer

 

 

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Laughter

 

 

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What'cha doing, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, "That's because he's inside your dumb cat."

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Single Dads

 

No More Vanilla Visitation

By Beth Neuman

 

Let's face it. Many divorced dads don't get the luxury of living with their children or even seeing them every week. That's why it's so important to enjoy the time that you do get to spend with them and plan activities that will strengthen your relationship.

Whether you've got your kids for a weekend or a week, there are a wide variety of activities single dads can do with their kids, no matter what their interests and ages are.

 

Young Children:

- Children's Museum - These museums offer a safe and fun learning environment. There's sure to be plenty of educational activities to keep them entertained for hours.

- Petting Zoo - Young children are fascinated by animals. Interacting with animals can open up the lines of communication - even with your youngest tot. Just make sure to keep an eye on where they (and you) are stepping.

- Pet Store - You don't have to get a new pet to enjoy a pet store. Take time to look at all of the different animals. If you're feeling like super-dad, you can even buy them a pet. It might be wise to stick with a small hassle-free pet, such as a fish or turtle, or risk incurring the wrath of your ex-wife.

- Park / Picnic - Venture out to a new park, pack a picnic lunch, and don't forget the juice boxes, snacks, and plenty of napkins.

- Concerts/Theatrical Event - If you're brave enough to handle an arena of screaming tikes, why not take them to a concert or play.

Check your local community centers or online for information.

 

Older Children:

- Board Game Night - Remember when you used to stay up all night wired on coke playing Battleship, Operation, and Monopoly? Relive those days with your own children. Order a pizza, get a couple two-litre bottles of soda and let the games begin!

- Video Games - Teach the young ones a few new tricks. Warning: modern video game controllers are much more complicated than the two-button joysticks of the Atari-era.

- Shopping - Although this might make some kids (and dads) cringe, others love to get out and look around in stores, etc. Be sure to talk to you kids and be firm about spending limits. You will survive.

- Bike Ride - Why not take a nice bike ride to your local ice cream or local store? You probably could use the exercise anyway. Just be sure that the kids can handle their bike before you're a mile away from home.

- Pool - Pool - Cool off and take a break by relaxing in the water. Pools are inexpensive and can keep your kids entertained for hours!

 

Teenagers:

- Theme Park - Theme parks are all over the country. Just make sure you pick a good day - rain can put a damper on things, but nothing is worse than being stuck for two hours sweltering in a long line.

- Camping - Map out a camping destination and head for the great outdoors. This is a perfect activity for older children and teens. All you'll need is a tent, a cooler full of food, a first aid kit and an industrial-size can of bug spray. And yes, toasted marshmallows are as good as you remember.

- Museums - Many people that actually live near or in a city don't take the time to see the tourist attractions and museums that big cities have to offer. Note: make sure this is something that interests your children otherwise you're bound to hear a lot of sighs and see a lot of eye-rolling.

- Sporting Events - Don't mess with success. For generations dads have been taking their children to the football or cricket to bond with them. Eat hot dogs and cheer for the home-team and impress your teen with your sports knowledge.

- Concerts - Ask your kids about their favorite bands and find out when the next one will be in town for a concert. You might be surprised to find you've actually heard of them. Regardless, they'll always remember singing along with their favorite band with their dad.

 

The most important thing to remember is that it's not really what you do, but how you do it. No matter how you spend your time, make sure you really reach out to your child and try to communicate with them. Spending quality-time with your child is essential to maintaining a great father-child relationship after a divorce. They need to know that you are there for them and want to spend time with them.

 

Reprinted from: http://www.levingsdivorcemagazine.com/vanilla_visitation.html

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All you need is Love

 

How to Say "I Love You" Everyday

By Michael Kiely

 

Love is not something you feel. It's something you do, according to someone called David Wilkerson, and I agree with him.

You "do" love when you put yourself out for the loved one. Sacrifice your time for them.

You also 'do' love by little signals...

 

Continuing my list of tactics for a total love attack:

 

' VOICE MAIL MESSAGES ' I impersonate imaginary lovers calling my wife and conspiring to meet her behind my back. I put on accents and make impassioned pleas for her favours. It's fun.

 

' YELLOW STICKY PADS ' When I am going away for a few days on business, I sometimes go through the house with a little pad of sticky yellow notepaper and a black texta pen and leave variations on the theme 'I Love You' in places she'll find as the days wear on. In the freezer, under her pillow, on the bathroom mirror, in among her underwear, in her handbag, above the door so she won't see it until she turns to leave the room, high up on the wall in a place I risk breaking my neck to reach. (Girls scream disapproval while you're taking risks, but love it when the feat is complete.) I put one in the oven that she didn't find until it nearly burst into flames when she turned it on without checking. Filled the kitchen with smoke. Laugh! Well, eventually she did.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Congratulations go to Michael Kiely.

 

Australia's biggest independent book distributor has agreed to handle 'Man Overboard'. Thanks to Warwick Marsh at the Fatherhood Foundation who gave me the contact at Woods Lane Distributors. We have been sent a contract and we are ready to press the button and hope that the good Lord knows where the $10,000 we need to print and promote the book will come from, because I have no idea.

Contact Michael at: michael@newhorizon.au.com  

For more ideas and to read more of Michael's journey go to http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com

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Thought of the Week

 

To give a man back his heart

is the hardest mission on earth.

 

from the movie 'Michael'

 

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Special Feature

Job Description - Parent

POSITION :

 

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Father

Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma, Mother

 

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!  Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

 

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.  Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product! Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

 

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you!

 

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

 

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

 

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

 

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated

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News & Info

 

 

Integrity Alliance congratulates

Senator Guy Barnett on ISP Filtering

 

Integrity Alliance endorses and congratulates the initiative, by Senator Guy Barnett, to have trialled in Tasmania new technology for filtering out pornography and extreme violence at the Internet Service Provider (ISP) level.

 

This is an initiative welcomed by the private and public sectors of the community, who have been calling for action by the government for sometime.

 

Ross Wilson from Integrity Alliance stated, 'that parents are concerned about their children being exposed to unsolicited pornographic imagery on the internet. Surveys conducted in Australia in 2003 show that 84 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls have been accidentally exposed to pornographic material while using the internet for legitimate purposes.'

 

Research has also shown that 70% of hits on internet sex sites occur between 9-5 on business computers. This equates to lost time and dollars being incurred by employers and ultimately by the community.

 

'There is no upside to internet pornography. There is no good porn or degrees of acceptable porn. Pornography comes at a cost, a cost that is primarily borne by our children, families and community,' said Mr. Wilson

 

We look forward to the results of this trial and call upon the government to quickly legislate for mandatory filtering of pornography at the ISP level.  We also ask the public to contact their Members of Parliament, urging them to act and address this current censorship anomaly.

 

For further media information please contact: Ross Wilson 07-3808 9448 / 0411-153 617;  Mary-Louise Fowler 02-6383 4242; John Grant 0411-869 027.

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

HELP NEEDED FROM MEN FOR A VERY IMPORTANT STUDY

 

Finally after all these years of pushing, Griffith University is conducting a study into Marital and De Facto Separation on Men, especially suicide

 

An increasing number of people are experiencing separation and divorce in our community. Relationship breakdown, in the form of separation or divorce, often brings stressful times in the lives of those involved. The separation from a loved one can turn a person's world upside down, and in the peak of distress can even lead someone to question the worth of their own life. We need your assistance and participation in this study to provide help to those experiencing difficulties with relationship breakdown and separation.

 

The study, run by AISRAP, Griffith University, will investigate the process of separation and identify key critical moments. Having a deep knowledge of the most upsetting  circumstances associated with the splitting of a couple will help reduce stress and suicidal behaviour too frequently experienced by males during the separation process.

This will be accomplished through identifying the critical times where males are most at risk of feeling overwhelmed by the situation they are experiencing, and providing them with the most appropriate referral pathways.

The results from this study will benefit the community through providing valuable information in the support of individuals experiencing marital or de facto relationship breakdown, separation, and divorce. The study results might influence policy makers, and provide modification of existing procedures.

 

I have a number of Participant packs here.

 

Please send me your details via email if you would like to participate and a postal address so as I can arrange the packs to be posted.

 

Guys it is most important to get behind this. If we wish to effect change this is one of the major steps. Confidentiality is assured.

 

Tony Miller dids

dids@nor.com.au

www.dadsindistress.asn.au  

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

DADS IN DISTRESS IS COMING TO PERTH

 

I want to tell you how fortunate we are to have Tony Miller, founder of Dads In Distress (DIDs) coming to visit Western Australia in April in a few weeks time.

 

And ALL are welcome to join with Tony in the week commencing Monday 24th April.

 

Tony Miller is a living legend and a man whose tireless work has saved many dads from despair after family breakdown and divorce.

 

He is a leader of men, a man with an enormous heart and compassion for young men who face the most agonising grief and hurt and loss because of divorce, family law and the loss of their children. As we all know, the loss of our dear children is enough to rip a hole in any father's heart.

 

Tony Miller is a witty and jovial character - he's a good bloke! He's also serious about his work and expanding the DIDs groups to reach more and more men.

 

You are all invited to join Tony in information nights and in holding real DIDs group sessions. The personal growth that happens in those special moments between men are extraordinary and have resulted in ever more DIDs groups being set up around Australia.

 

Dates: (Information Nights)

Perth - Monday 24th April

Perth - Tuesday 25th April

Bunbury - Wednesday 26th April

Bunbury & Surrounding Districts - Thursday 27th April

Perth/other areas - Friday 28th April

 

Some participants will want to take Tony's lead and set up and run DIDs groups. You will have Tony's personal support to do this.

 

Others will feel a need to participate and join a DIDs group and that's great; that's what DIDs was created for, to support men, strengthen them and open the door to their futures as men with dignity and fathers to their children. 

 

If you want to be part of this opportunity to experience DIDs then please RSVP as soon as possible by contacting me on my mobile 0409 917 345 or email to director@spca.org.au

 

Exact times and venues will be advised but we need to know approximate numbers in order to plan the DIDs sessions with Tony and the information nights.

 

This unique opportunity to meet Tony Miller and experience DIDs is about to happen, in this month, April 2006. By indicating your interest and contacting me as soon as possible, your place will be secured. Mon 24th April and Tue 25th April are the key dates for Perth.

 

Please also pass this message on to anyone you think might want to attend, anyone you think would benefit and especially the Dads in distress.

 

Yours Sincerely,

Edward Dabrowski

Federal Director

Shared Parenting Council of Australia

 

m. 0409 917 345

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Counselling and Ministering to Men

Date: Sat 20 May 2006

Place:  A Block, Christian Heritage College, 322 Wecker Rd, Mansfield

 

Counselling and Ministering to Men is a one day conference featuring experienced and qualified speakers who have years of counselling and ministry experience in working with men and boys of all ages. It is designed not only to shed light on the difficulties and struggles many men face today, but also to offer practical and biblically based solutions to these problems.

 

It can be tough being a Christian man in today's world. Many of us struggle to understand what mature masculinity looks like, especially in the absence of role models that can be trusted to light the way for us. Statistics, which include rates of male suicide, pornography addiction, absentee fathers, antisocial behaviour and falling school performances amongst adolescent boys, and low church involvement amongst men, all seem to indicate that many males are doing it tough.

 

Anyone who is concerned for men and boys today - including pastors, counsellors, those in lay ministry, as well as Christian men themselves and those who love them - will leave this conference better equipped to help men grow to be all they are meant to be in Christ.

 

Key Speakers

Peter Janetzki

Counsellor; educator; radio talk show host of 96.5's 'Talking Life'; Masters in Social Science, (QUT). Wild at Heart - The Essence of Real Masculinity

Phil Henry

Counsellor in private practice; Men's Group Leader; Masters in Counselling, (QUT).

Important Principles & Practices in Working with Men

 

Workshop Speakers

Alan MacKenzie

Counsellor; group leader, Ministry to Men

Matt Boulton

Pastor of Brisbane City Church

Dr John Meteyard

Counsellor; Lecturer at Christian Heritage College

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Wrong Direction on Family Law Reform

 

As part of a major overhaul of the Family Law Act, the Australian Government plans to spend $200 million establishing a network of 'Family Relationship Centres'.

 

But despite good intentions, Family Relationship Centres will add little to the divorce process in Australia.

 

In a paper to be released on Wednesday 12 April, Family Relationship Centres: Why We Don't Need Them, Arti Sharma argues that although it is a good idea to make divorce less adversarial, Family Relationship Centres won't work, aren't needed by 95 per cent of separating couples, and are a waste of taxpayers' money.

 

'The proposal to establish Family Relationship Centres should be scrapped. They are being established so that the Government is seen to be doing something about the divorce process, but in reality, these centres will do nothing at all to improve the system.'

 

Under the proposed reforms, separating couples with children are forced into compulsory dispute resolution and made to submit parenting plans for approval before moving to divorce proceedings, regardless of their personal circumstances.

 

'While the proposal requiring a parenting plan before couples proceed to court is sound, how parents develop these plans should be left to them. Only after couples have tried to resolve parenting issues and failed is there any need for compulsory dispute resolution.'

 

'By making dispute resolution compulsory for divorcing couples who do not need help, the Government is reaching new levels of paternalistic intervention.'

 

Family Relationship Centres needlessly duplicate the voluntary and publicly-funded community sector relationship services.

 

'The danger is that this will end up destroying the community sector's independence, wasting taxpayers' money and hindering rather than helping couples who need assistance with the divorce process.'

 

'Family Relationship Centres represent the incorporation of private, voluntary and community services into intrusive bureaucracy.  They will be costly to run, and if they fail, it will be a costly failure.'

 

Overwhelmingly, separating parents resolve custody issues independently. 'Only a very small proportion of divorce cases find themselves having to go to court to resolve conflict over children.  The Government's response seems disproportionately large compared to the problem.'

 

'Family Relationship Centres are an example of symbolic politics; in reality they will be no improvement at all.'

 

Arti Sharma is a Researcher at The Centre for Independent Studies.

 She is available for comment.

READ IT ONLINE HERE:  http://www.cis.org.au/IssueAnalysis/ia70/ia70.pdf

All media enquiries:

Gina Schwass, Public Affairs Officer

Ph: 02 9438 4377

Mob: 0407 211 562

Email: gschwass@cis.org.au

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation & the Dads of Australia

 

Like everybody this is Easter, I'm going to be thinking about my family over this holiday. But I'm one of the lucky ones... my baby daughter is going to be with me for half of Easter.

 

Many of us are not so lucky. Holidays are a time for family, and if you have been excluded from your family it can be a very hard.

 

Please (please) don't let it get to you this Easter. Don't give up hope. Don't become another statistic. You may be alone now, but your child/ren need you.

 

Even if your kids don't know it now, suffering as victims of PAS and malicious mothers, never-the-less, when they are older, they will want to know you and they will want to know the truth.

 

If you are struggling this Easter, don't do it alone.

 

Ring Men's Line, on 1300 78 99 78, and take advantage of one of the first groups to get some funding for men (but still mostly staffed by volunteers)  :-)

 

Or ring me . . . James Adams (PartTimeParent) on 0417 258 364

 

You're not Jesus...

Don't die for the sins of others  ;-)

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

In Marriage

Passion & pleasure brings you together,

But Love & loyalty binds you forever.

 

Peter Rahme

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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Dad's Prayer


 

Dear God

 

If I give you my heart,

Will you give it back to me?

If I give you my dreams,

Will you help me live them?

If I make a mistake,

Will you pick me up again?

So that I can aim for what I cannot do

And reach for the stars inside my heart,

Which you put there in the first place.

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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